1 in 4 women is in an abusive relationship. Emotional and/or physical. If there is physical abuse, there is obviously emotional abuse.
I was one of the four.
Six years ago, I shared my story of being in an abusive 2nd marriage. I haven't shared it in a long time and I know there are many of you out there in a similar situation especially now during quarantine. Struggling to breathe. Struggling to make it through each day. Struggling with feeling worthy. Struggling with the courage to leave. Struggling with wanting to live. Losing who we are. Feeling alone. Feeling like you are the only one feeling that pain. I know how it feels, I was there.
There is always a way out. A healthy way out. But an abuser makes you feel like there isn't a way out. They manipulate you and wear you down emotionally. They break you. They break you so badly that you feel lost without them. They make you feel like you NEED THEM in order to survive. They make you think that no one will ever love you more than they do. They want total control. And they get it…slowly, little by little each day.
Thank god someone came into my life to help me realize there was a way out. Someone unexpected. I totally believe that people come into your life for a reason. She returned to my life for a reason. I'm not sure where I would be today otherwise.
Telling my story publicly was the hardest thing I ever did. I was ashamed of allowing this to happen to me for so long. I was ashamed because my decisions hurt my kids too. I was so broken. I had no confidence in myself. I didn't feel worthy. It's hard to be vulnerable. People judge. I know I was judged and that's ok because telling my story was freedom. It was a weight off my shoulders. It was HOPE for others in a similar situation.
I know there are many of you that feel like you can't share your story. You feel like you can't ask for help because of fear. Because of shame. For whatever reason. You need a safe place. A virtual hug. Two years ago I came up with an idea for a private Facebook Group where we could share our pain and lift each other up. I created it and even had 10 women join it… Then I got scared. "Who am I to think I can help anyone through something like this?" "My situation wasn't as bad as so many others." "There are stories that are far worse than mine." I had a lot of negative talk and doubt so I didn't move forward with it and I let it sit
Fast Forward to last week. I shared a Meme with a little girl dancing in the rain "Remember her? She is still in there…inside you… waiting. Let's go get her!" A few women commented on how they were lost and wished they could get the spirit of that little girl back. And then the light bulb went off! So many women allow their significant others to control how they act, dress, talk, think… I used to. This was it! This is my calling. Inspiring women (including myself) to go get that little girl inside of them back! I don't know what this is going to look like and I don't need to. I'm just going to do it. Being honest about our own personal struggles and dark times is the first step. So many women are on the edge and need to hear stories that assure them there is a way through the pain and that they will shine bright again. I want to give HOPE to those who feel there isn't any. I'm going to rename my private FB group, open it back up to inspire and awaken worth for any women who would like to join.
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